PET RULES to be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
THe other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is
nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for
years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
behind. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message
on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids
Because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
And finally,
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
10 comments:
"If they get pregnant, you can sell their children."
LMAO!
That was hilarious!
That was good - thanks to you and your Mom for the laugh!!!
Oh, I love these!
Here's one of my favorites over at Lee's blog, The differences between cats and dogs.
Absolutely brilliant, and oh so true...
loved this crunch!!! sell your kids??? never gave it a thought. hmmm, naw, they're way too old now. sigh....bee
my house must be just like yours!!!!
I lost all my link when I changed over too, something to do with not saving it properly, also I moved to a lap top from the pc, I think many a file was dropped!
our weather is now freezing sleet, high winds, wet, cold, yuck.
Hi. I caught a link over here from Clairesgarden. It was worth the trip. This is a great list of rules that I totally agree with, lol. I'm not so sure my cat (currently on my lap) and my dog (beside my chair making sure she gets a fair share of attention too) would agree with it as much as I do though, haha.
HAHAHAHA! I will post that on my refridgerator, posthaste!
This was great LOL! Found you through Claire`s Garden :)
tea
xo
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